I’ve been playing Pokémon Go for most of today because no force in heaven or on earth could stop me, and here are a few things that I’ve learned about the game, myself and life as a result.
- The new Pokémon professor is like real, real handsome but his shoes are terrible
- I don’t like to move very much or at all if possible
- I’m still cheaper than I am lazy because I haven’t yet bought any Pokécoins with real money
- Pokémon music is very embarrassing played at max volume in public
- Catching virtual Pidgeys against the backdrop of old, empty instant ramen bowls on your desk is dispiriting
- If you chose any Pokémon other than Charmander we probably can’t be friends
- Catching Pokémon at a busy intersection definitely makes you look super weird
- I will never be able to take your call because Pokémon drained my battery
Pokémon Go is still only available on a limited basis worldwide, and it’s also clearly dealing with fervent interest in terms of server capacity, so I’m not going to dive into any kind of real review. But it is already core to my personal identity.